I have trouble with my sleep. I know, you've heard it all before "my insomnia is unbearable, I can't get to sleep for ages" and stories of friends who live on 3 hours sleep a day. It's not that. My problem is I fall asleep instantly and sometimes without warning, anywhere at anytime I am not actively doing something. I can be drawing or using the computer and I'm fine but as soon as I stop to watch tv or chat with Mrs DMC then I'm spark out, and it's unfeasably deep sleep. So deep my wife cannot wake me.
I've always been a really deep sleeper.I used to sleep for about 4 hours a night but they were like 10 normal sleep hours, and I wouldn't wake at all in that time. I slept through the smoke alarm no problem, Kids playing up outside, not a worry. Pubs, clubs, people's houses and I'm up the hill to Bedfordshire It got so bad I slept through an arson attack on the snooker hall opposite my flat that involved 5 fire engines, cop cars and ambulances. It was there when I went to bed, when I got up and drew back the curtains it was gone. I had to ask my then flatmate what had happened. Incredulously he couldn't understand why I hadn't heard the commotion. I didn't even hear Lloyd Cole. My wife can scream in my face and I don't wake up. She kicked me in the groin in my sleep omce and although I was screeching in pain and clutching my gonads I knew nothing of it until she apologised to me the next day. Recently it's also been accompanied by really bad snoring. Snoring that sounds like the runway at Heathrow in peak time. So I decided to do something about it and went to see the quack to get referref to the sleep clinic at the hospital.
Tonight I will be going under polysomnography, where you sleep at the hospital and they strap loads of machines to you to see why my sleep is wrong. I think that this is the craziest of tests because who can sleep with a mass of tubes and wires coming out of their face, a strap around the chest and clothes pegs clipped to their fingers in a strange bed? Not only do you have the misfortune of looking like Frankenstein's Monster laid out on the slab waiting for the lightning bolt, but you have the pleasure of having your sleep videoed and watched by strangers. Plus no telly so I can't see Holby City, where the real medical traumas are.
And so here are a few sleep related ditties to tuck youself in with and cuddle up to. Good night
1 witty repostes:
I'm obviously behind on my blog-reading or you wouldn't have had to tell me this. Hope the tests went well.
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