two films one week.

An epic (in Metcalfe-Carrian terms) cinematic week has just passed for me with two - YES TWO- trips to the cinema. The week was rounded off by E4 showing Ferris Bueller's Day Off, on of the classic brat pack films and early role for a certain mentalist Mister Charles Sheen Esq, playing a mental on drugs. How John Hughes predicted the future. He never made a film about flying cars and three course dinners in pill form, he just showed that the future star of Two and a Half men was a drug addled freak full of his own self importance, but very funny in his breakdown.

So Film One on Wednesday night was Green Lantern. In 3D. Or so it claimed to be because with the exception of a table lamp and the back of Green Lantern's head there was no visible 3D effects in the film. And charging extra for the film and the so called free guest with Orange Wednesday just rubbed my back up even more in the wrong direction. GL has been panned critically and to be fair it's not the worst film ever made, it can't be because neither Ashton Kutcher nor Josh Hartnett appear in it. What it is is the biggest under achiever put onto celluloid

If you were in charge of a film about an intergalactic police force who can do anything because of the power ting on your hand what would you do? Michael Bay would just have things blow up very loudly. Kenneth Brannagh would have it done in iambic pentameter with a story about someone having unnatural feelings for his mum and killing his dad. Spielberg would stick an annoying kid in and make it a metaphor for the way the American family is becoming extinct. What Martin Campbell does is make the most boring film ever. If you take an action hero and go to make an action film you need to add something called action. Green Lantern is the most boring and depressing film I have seen this year and I've watched The Road. There is no spark between the characters, no chemistry between Ryan Reynolds, who I think is a damn fine actor and Blake Lively. In fact Blake Lively is a breach of the Trades Description Act as she practically sleepwalks her way through the film. The CGI villain Paralax is as frightening as a verruca and the whole thing is a mess from start to finish. My friend I went with was a massive GL fan as a kid and even he wasn't impressed, with a high rating of "Well, it passed a couple of hours".

Friday, and Film Two, this time accompanied by the good Mrs DMC, was Bridesmaids starring Kristen Wiig and the ubiquitous Rose Byrne who seems to be in every film ever made in the last year, enforcing this by appearing on Channel 4 last night in Sunshine. Judd Appatow is usually involved in good comedy but it tends to be bromantic comedy, so how does he cope with a chick flick? Well, it isn't really a chick flick as it involves the usual sex and toilet humour as Knocked Up and 40 Year Old Virgin. It could be any of his comedy output and the fact that it's an all woman main cast really doesn't matter as you could put Paul Rudd and Steve Carrel in the leads and you'd not notice the difference. Bridesmaids however is extremely funny and quite moving, it's not really about being a bridesmaid, it's about growing up and life changing, about opening up to others and also in there is a revenge comedy. The amount of ideas that appear in Green Lantern is surpassed in the first five minutes of Bridesmaids. Kristen Wiig shows why the reputation she's getting in US comedy is actually of some value, forget your Sarah Silvermans, Wiig is naturally funny without the offensiveness being forced and feeling like its chucked in there for headlines. Rose Byrne is excellent as the young trophy bride, you want to Annie to break her nails as well as her nose. The big surprise is the amount of UK talent, with Matt Lucas as the odd flatmate and Chris O'Dowd from the IT Crowd as an unlikely romantic lead. Me and the Mrs wet ourselves laughing through this one because it's not just fart gags, it's a well though out and admirably executed romantic comedy.